(provided by the
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)
Look over the following questions. Think about how
you are being treated and how you treat your
partner. Remember, when one person scares, hurts or
continually puts down the other person, it's abuse.
Does your partner…
____ Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your
friends or family?
____ Put down your accomplishments or goals?
____ Make you feel like you are unable to make
____ Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
____ Tell you that you are nothing without them?
____ Treat you roughly - grab, push, pinch, shove or
____ Call you several times a night or show up to
make sure you are where you said you would be?
____ Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying
hurtful things or abusing you?
____ Blame you for how they feel or act?
____ Pressure you sexually for things you don't want
____ Make you feel like there "is no way out" of the
____ Prevent you from doing things you want - like
spending time with your friends or family?
____ Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or
leave you somewhere after a fight to "teach you a
____ Sometimes feel scared of how your partner will
____ Constantly make excuses to other people for
your partner's behavior?
____ Believe that you can help your partner change
if only you changed something about yourself?
____ Try not to do anything that would cause
conflict or make your partner angry?
____ Always do what your partner wants you to do
instead of what you want?
____ Stay with you partner because you are afraid of
what your partner would do if you broke-up?
If any of these are happening in your relationship,
talk to someone. Without some help, the abuse will